Me: don't know why but I really want to make a difference in the world but there's just so much that I can do before it gets ridiculous.
Me: I reckon its just guilt from being better of than someone else.
Him: you summed it up just right...
Me: it bloody sucks.
Him: what you don't get is that you do make a difference. You made a difference in my life. You made a difference for Andy. For tommy. Those around you.
WELL...fuck me that was fucking preach.
I took me years for me to understand my mum and everyone on her side of the family. Honestly I never liked any of them. It seemed like they were selfish and all that but as i spent time getting to know the person I started to understand their motives and flaws.
I’m glad I woke up early despite the late night from before. Spending time with my mum and Aunty made me understand so much about them. The hate I have towards them is still there but it’s gone down to the point where I can understand why they act the way they do.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that you should never hold too much hatred towards someone. Life is too short for that. Wouldn’t you rather spend more time on understanding them? Wouldn’t it feel much better that way?
It was the same with friends. There’s this guy from high school that I never really liked and I hardly talked to. I was hanging out with my other friend and he called to catch up. I was hesitant but I said “Fuck it. High school is in the past. Give it another go” so I hung out with him and my other two friends. I have never enjoyed a game of uno so much before.
Believe it or not I tried my best to be friendly. Surprisingly he seemed to have changed. Well he hasn’t changed at all really but I managed to understand his thinking and I realized that “hey, he’s actually pretty fun to hang out with!” My friend ditched me with him in the car cos he was on his Red Ps and I needed to drop food off for my mum..
I thought the whole car ride would be awkward but I tried to start a conversation and oh my god I was speaking to him in a way that I’d speak to a really good friend..
Guess I’m going to spend more time on liking rather than hating. It’s a nice feeling when you finally have someone figured out and you’re able to get along with them despite whatever happened in the past.
Today I went maccas near my uni with my dad because I had to hand in an assignment at 10am and we got there early. There was a little boy with his mum and I swear it was the cutest thing ever. He drank a small cuppacino decaf and got a white mustache. His mum was laughing and he was smiling like it was the best thing that’s happened to him.
You could literally see the love in that kids eyes. I asked him if he loved his mummy (being the pedo that i am) when i was talking to him and he said yes - because “she gives mooches”. apparently that meant kisses but. ..♥
Isn’t it amazing how at a young age the love we felt was so innocent? We associate love with what we find is nice. We never really knew what hate was. “I love my cat cos shes fluffy” or “I don’t like cats. they’re scary” We pretty much never used the word hate much when we were little kids. Unless… that little boy wasn’t sharing a toy with you or your little sister stole your cookie.
Then as we grow up love becomes a more broader term. We have to distinguish what is love and lust. Sometimes we get confused on which is which. And people take advantage of it at times and unfortunately for some people the meaning of love becomes negative and distorted.
Love isn’t innocent or safe anymore. It now becomes associated with the word hurt. Honestly who hasnt in their teenage years felt pain from love? Be it good or bad pain we must have all been hurt from it before. Rejection, joy, disappointment, butterflies… we’ve all been through it if not.. you will. trust me.
We probably spend most of our lives experiencing this thing called love. And I swear once we reach the last stage of “evolving” (who here loves pokemon? :D ) it’s going to be the best thing ever.
What’s the last stage? I may be wrong. Because I’m still in that middle stage of love associating with hurt. But I saw it in that mother’s eyes as she smiled and laughed at her son’s little froth mustache. The final stage I must say is to be able to love and be loved. Simple as that.
To be able to give love to someone else and to know that you are loved back is the greatest thing you can ever get and I really think when you start a family - be it a single parent or full parent or whatever family it may be… that’s when you achieve that.
Because that’s when you are able to give love to someone else in the world besides those who have given you the opportunity to do so. Maybe that’s how love works - you just simply give and take.
It helps you grow into the person you are now. And not everyone gets the right amount of love in his world. It’s so depressing. If we could all just give a little bit of love everyday maybe this negative side of earth wouldn’t be so overwhelming. And maybe then I’d be able to feel comfortable raising my future kids in this place.
The recent news on the Muslim extremists who killed a British soldier made me realize that education makes you see the world differently.
If it was me before uni and studying about society and racism specifically I would have generalized all Muslims and evil and that their religion is so full of shit.
But once I studied religion and sociology I realized that it’s the extremists we should focus on not the culture or religion.
The Muslim culture is actually conservative and harmless. However extremists twist God’s sayings and make their people look bad.
I did my essay on islamophobia. I was reluctant to do it at first when my lecturer recommended it to me cos of my beliefs. But I’m glad I did.
I’m not saying that the extremists reasons for killing was just but we should all realize that they were the ones who took the culture to another level. Not all Muslims are evil terrorists. Extremists are different from Muslims. Their thoughts are different.
The media only focus on negative contents and they relate Muslims to terror since 9/11. The word Muslim and islam used in negative articles within 2 years increased by 250%. Literally. No kidding. There was research on this.
We’re humans. we are capable of thinking in a way that no other living being can and yet we kill each other like savage animals on irrational judgmental terms.
I hope some day research in discrimination will help find ways to eradicate it cos seriously the world I’m living in right now is not the ideal place I want my children to be living in.
We are smart people! Be educated! Be willing to be educated! My god I can see a modernized white supremacy or the KKK or nazism happening soon and its scaring the fuck out of me…